Monday, April 30, 2012

Born On This Day- April 30th... Alice B. Toklas


The famous pair with Toklas on the right.

Alice Babette Toklas left Seattle for Paris when she was 30 years old. In Paris she met Gertrude Stein. The 2 women were a couple for the next 39 years, living through WW1 & WW2, the apex of The Lost Generation, & a collection of very famous friends. They were positively partners. Toklas was Stein’s secretary, editor, critic... & muse.

Their books' titles were quite deceptive; The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas was written Stein & had next to nothing to do with Toklas & The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook, although it contains recipes, was more a memoir of a life friends like Janet Flanner, Picasso, Hemingway, Thornton Wilder, & Virgil Thomson, along a collection of over 300 recipes.

Toklas lived another 20 years after Stein’s death. At the end of her life she was broke. The family of Stein claimed the famous paintings & royalties. In those final years Toklas was plagued with financial difficulties. She had no choice after Stein’s heirs took all the famous paintings left to her, except to write a memoir.

The much renowned recipe for marijuana brownies started when Toklas signed a contract with Harper's to write a cookbook in 1952. She was a known as a very goodcook, but what Harper’s wanted was not so much recipes but tales of her life with Gertrude Stein.

Toklas, then in her mid-70s, didn’t have enough pages to call her tome a book. She added several recipes, including them that would become renowned: “This is the food of Paradise. It might provide an entertaining refreshment for a Ladies' Bridge Club or a chapter meeting of the DAR, with euphoria & brilliant storms of laughter, ecstatic reveries & extensions of one's personality on several simultaneous planes are to be complacently expected. Almost anything Saint Theresa did, you can do better."

The editors at Harper's spotted the suspicious special ingredient- canabis ingredients & cut the recipe out, but the publisher of the British edition didn't. The press promptly went nuts. The London Times: "The late Poetess Gertrude Stein & her constant companion 7 autobiographee, Alice B. Toklas, used to have gay old times together in the kitchen. Some of the unique delicacies that were whipped up will soon be cataloged, in a wildly epicurean tome which is already causing excited talk on both sides of the Atlantic. Perhaps the most gone concoction was her hashish fudge." The book would go on to be the best seller for either of the lesbian pair.

Here is the recipe: "Take 1 teaspoon black peppercorns, 1 whole nutmeg, 4 average sticks of cinnamon, 1 teaspoon coriander. These should all be pulverized in a mortar. About a handful each of stone dates, dried figs, shelled almonds & peanuts: chop these & mix them together. A bunch of Canibus Sativa can be pulverized. This along with the spices should be dusted over the mixed fruit & nuts, kneaded together. About a cup of sugar dissolved in a big pat of butter. Rolled into a cake & cut into pieces or made into balls about the size of a walnut, it should be eaten with care. 2 pieces are quite sufficient. Obtaining the canibus may present certain difficulties. It should be picked & dried as soon as it has gone to seed & while the plant is still green."

Just a few years ago, I had an acquaintance (now living in San Francisco with a rich boyfriend) that made a variation of this recipe. With only one half of a serving, I was unable to raise my head off the pillow. His advice: “Don’t sit down. After you eat one you need to go hiking or dancing. Keep moving.”  I was left giggling, horny & hungry & unable to move.

Although Toklas converted to Catholicism late in life, the pair of Jewish lesbians are buried next to each other in the Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris. 

The Toklas name would become a part of the vernacular of the pot smoking world.

Born On This Day- April 30th... Eunice M. Quedens


Eve Arden is one of the Husband’s favorite stars, & he introduced me to her most famous role with re-runs on TV. I was just a smidgen too young to have watched the 1st broadcasts of Our Miss Brooks, but watching them with him gave me even more appreciation for her considerable talents. I did have the pleasure of seeing Eve Arden in the title role in Hello, Dolly while I was doing summer stock on Cape Cod in the early 1970s. She was a terrific Dolly Levi.

I never met her, but I wanted to be her, or rather I wanted to receive a review that would claim- “Stephen Rutledge has the charm & the crack top timing of a male Eve Arden.” If my demented memory serves me right, I had a better chance at being compared to Kay Ballard.




Her 50 year career doing supporting & leading roles on stage, in films, radio & TV included an Oscar nomination for Mildred Pierce, but she is best remembered for playing the sardonic high school teacher in the classic Our Miss Brooks on radio & television, & to another generation as the Rydell High School principal in Grease & Grease 2. Ironically. she never finished high school, leaving at 16 to join a stock company.


Eve Arden had an approximately 30 second guest role in a 1955 I Love Lucy episode- L.A. at Last in which she played herself. While awaiting their food at The Brown Derby, Lucy & Ethel argue over whether a certain portrait on the wall is of Shelley Winters or Judy Holliday. Ethel decides to ask a lady sitting in the booth next to them, who replies: "Neither. That's Eve Arden." Ethel suddenly realizes she'd just been talking to Arden herself. As the star is leaving she is gawked by Lucy & Ethel. This same episode also guest starred William Holden.


Desilu Productions, was owned by Desi Arnaz & Lucille Ball, & was the production company for the Our Miss Brooks television show, which was filming during the same period as I Love Lucy. Ms. Ball & Ms. Arden were acquaintances, having worked together in Stage Door in 1937; it was Ball, who suggested Arden for the radio & TV versions of Our Miss Brooks.


Arden's comic talent & timing were absolute perfection for her best known role, Madison High School English teacher Connie Brooks in Our Miss Brooks. Arden portrayed the character on radio from 1948 to 1957, & on TV from 1952 to 1956, & in a 1956 feature film. Arden's character clashed with the school's principal, Osgood Conklin (Gale Gordon), & was burdened by an unrequited crush on fellow teacher Philip Boynton (Jeff Chandler, & on TV by Robert Rockwell).


Eve Arden was born Eunice M. Quedens in Mill Valley, California, & she made her Broadway in 1934 in the Ziegfeld Follies , & her last work was in Grease 2 in 1982. She chose her stage name while shopping for cosmetics & spotting the names Evening in Paris &  Elizabeth Arden. She was married to actor Brooks West for 32 years, until his death in 1984. Eve Arden passed away in 1990 at the age of 82. Happy Birthday, Eve!





"I've worked with a lot of great glamorous girls in movies and the theater. And I'll admit, I've often thought it would be wonderful to be a femme fatale. But then I'd always come back to thinking that if they only had what I've had - a family, real love, an anchor - they would have been so much happier during all the hours when the marquees and the floodlights are dark."

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Bang Bang



20 years ago tonight, Seattle experienced the mini-version of the riots in L.A.. After the verdict in the Rodney King case had been read & news of the reaction in L.A. had reached Seattle, people were breaking windows & looting, but mostly the city was conducting business as usual.

I had stepped outside the restaurant where I was the weekend manager to drop some bags of garbage in the dumpster. I heard a sound like a child’s cap gun go off followed by a quick bright sound & the sting of metal. A car drove away down the small curvy side street.

I looked a few inches away from where I was standing to discover a small dent in the dumpster. I leaned over & picked up the bullet, still warm, & held it in my palm. It all came together in brain, I had just missed getting shot by a few inches. I still have that bullet. It is in a display case along with arrowheads, pins, shards & assorted jetsam & flotsam from my life.

My little case of treasures is in the middle foreground in this shot of my work space

I feel that I have used up my quota of personal violence, having experienced being mugged, shot, shot at & fag bashed during my considerably long life. None of those events compare to the freight induced by the release, 35years ago, of You Light Up My Life, recorded by Debbie Boone, which stayed at #1 for 10 weeks & became the most successful single of the 1970s. That was personal violence that I can still not recover from.

I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Sat No

I met her once. It was really rather a thrill because I am true fan, & at the time, a musical queen. I was over the moon to meet the original Ado Annie from Oklahoma!. As a film smart, savvy young gay man my head was simply spinning to be meeting Karen, Margo Channing’s best friend in All About Eve, one of my very favorite films.

The occasion was being received back stage by Betty Garrett, after her one-woman show- Betty Garrett & Other Songs at the Westwood Playhouse in Spring 1976. Betty Garrett had been my acquaintance for a year, & we had recently been at a very informal outdoor dinner thrown by mutual friends. Betty & I had a very special conversation that evening that ended with Betty offering me the house seats to her show the next evening. I took her up on the offer, & the show was splendid, sparkling & sentimental. After her big finish, but before the curtain call, Betty looked into the house with her hands shielding her eyes & announced while pointing : "My dead friend Celeste & Stephen… I want to see you both in my dressing room in a few minutes.” I turned to the person next to me & nudged & whispered- “That’s me… I'm Stephen, I’m not Celeste.”


So, Oscar winner & consummate character actor Celeste Home, & little curly-haired redheaded Stephen hung out in the dressing room while Betty Garrett got out of costume & make up. Celeste Holm & our hero made small talk & loudly praised Ms. Garrett’s show. I heaped praise on Holme's stage performance in Mame, which I had adored in 1968.

I declined an offer from the 2 amazing stars of Hollywood’s golden era to move on to the next party as a team. Instead, I would opt for Studio One in West Hollywood, hoping that some hot man would shove that little brown bottle under my nose, the one that makes me feel so sexy & really connected with the thumping music. I did meet a beefy redhead that took me to his place in Venice Beach, used me for my considerable talents & then made me breakfast. I came to the fork in the road, & I made the wrong decision. I could have partied away the evening with the woman who introduced the world to the showstopper- I Can't Say No (by coincidence, the title of a chapter in my memoir- Jockstraps & Vicodin), instead I took the fork that might have gotten me forked.

Celeste, I was dense, I was callow, I was young. I was thinking with my dick. I apologize. Ask me again, I will devote a date to you & we can remember our friend Betty. Take me up on my offer. Happy 94th birthday! You out lived the entire cast of All About Eve. You are still one hot number!

Celeste Holm tells this story: She was nominated for an Oscar for a film she made with Loretta Young- Come To The Stable, in which they both played nuns! Loretta had become quite pious after having given birth to Clark Gable's love child (talk about virgin birth... she then adopts her own daughter) & Loretta Young announced to the cast & crew that there would no swearing or strong language on the set. Miss Young had set up a penalty box; if someone should slip up & use a Goddamn, fuck or shit, they would need to put a nickle in the box, with the proceeds going to a Vatican charity at the end of the shoot. Holme's good friend Ethel Merman stopped by the set to visit. Ethel took a 10 dollar bill out of her purse & slipped it into the Curse Box & loudly proclaimed- "There you go Loretta. Now you can go fuck yourself". I told this story to a group of 20-35 year olds that I supervise at my job. Not a single one knew of Celeste Holm, Loretta Young, Ethel Merman, or All About Eve, even the gay ones. I hate getting old.

Holmes also relates: "I walked onto the set of All About Eve on the first day & said, 'Good Morning,' to Miss Bette Davis, & do you know her reply? She said, 'Oh shit, good manners'. I never spoke to her again ... ever."

Celeste Holm lives in her native NYC. She married 5 times; she married her current husband, opera singer Frank Basile, on April 29, 2004, her 87th birthday. Celeste turns an astonishing 95 today.


Born On This Day- April 29th- Tiny Talent, Leslie Jordan


The diminutive Leslie Jordan has long had me in awe of his comic creations. He is an irrepressible, garrulous Chattanooga pixie who got through a Southern Baptist childhood & same sex stirrings & lived triumphantly to tell the tale.


I first noticed Jordan in his Emmy winning turn in the recurring guest role of Beverley Leslie on Will & Grace, but he has worked for several decades on the stage, TV & films, including last year's The Help as Mr. Blackly, editor of the local newspaper.

Jordan has a special demented genius in his work in Del Shores' Sordid Lives on stage, in the cult film version, & later in the short-lived TV series. I was crazy for the film version, watching it several times. His one-man show Hysterical Blindness & Other Southern Tragedies That Have Plagued My Life Thus Far, was first performed off-Broadway in 1992. His shows are produced by his friend- Lily Tomlin.

Jordan has hit on the road, performing his one-man shows- Like a Dog on Linoleum & My Trip Down the Pink Carpet, playing L.A, & NYC & all points in between. These days he's touring a new one-man called Fruit Fly, about life with his very Southern mother.

Always tiny & openly gay, the 4-foot-11 Jordan began using humor early in life as a defense against bullies. He is fond of saying “I fell out of the womb and landed in my mama’s high heels,” but had surprising support from his conservative Baptist parents.

I read his funny, but moving book- My Trip Down The Pink Carpet where tells many poignant anecdotes, like when he wanted a bride doll for Christmas one year. He got “the prettiest bride doll you ever saw” … from his big, muscular career Army father.

After spending a decade working as a jockey, he went back to collge & studied Theatre. Jordan: “I’m a true, true Hollywood success story. Nobody helped me. I stepped off the bus & started doing commercials. I was really good at that, they wanted funny, funny, funny people in commercials.”

Jordan: “My big break was ‘Murphy Brown, I did one episode & the whole town was abuzz. My agent called & said he’d never had that kind of reaction. Pee Wee Herman wanted me on his kiddy show, Burt Reynolds said it would be fun to work with me, & even Stephen Spielberg called. It was like an overnight success. It was fun, but looking back, it was exhausting. I had fun in my 20s, 30s and 40s, but I wish I had a little more financial security.”

During pilot season, Jordan lives in L.A., but the rest of the year he’s on the road. Tate Taylor, the openly gay director of The Help had tried for years to get Jordan to work for him, but Jordan was never available. Jordan: “Tate called me up & said, ‘Damn you, you’ve never worked for me & now I’m going to give you this good part.”

When Jordan won his Emmy, his competition was Ben Stiller, Patrick Stewart, Alec Baldwin & Martin Sheen, Jordan didn’t expect to win, but still flew his mother out for the ceremony.

Jordan: "I have live such a blessed life, I was just a kid who had a dream & got on a bus.”

On gay life: “There are 2 ways to combat homophobia. One is through humor. The second is to put a face on it. People are becoming much more enlightened. People are realizing that being gay is just as defining as the color of our skin & it's not a choice. I'm really encouraged. I think in my lifetime we will achieve equality. I'm honored to be a part of it.”

Jordan is single. He turns 57 years old today.


Easy To Be Hard



How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

& especially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
& social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people be so heartless
You know I'm hung up on you
Easy to give in
Easy to help out

& especially people
Who care about strangers
Who say they care about social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no
McDormett/Ragni/Rado
1968

Born On This Day- April 29th, In 1968, The Broadway Production Of HAIR


With unpopular wars still raging and the forces of conformism still oppressing the free spirits in American society, HAIR remains a vital expression of irrepressible & joyous Be-In for all times. It is one of my favorite musicals & the film version is in my Top 10 Films.


I saw the original Broadway production, then in its 4th year, I saw the West End production in 1969 & oddly enough, the Vienna production- Haare. The Original Broadway Cast album sold more than 3 million copies in the first year, at the time a phenomenon.

As far as I am concerned, HAIR was the first Rock Musical. Although it had received generally good critical notices off-Broadway, at the Biltmore Theater it got almost unanimous raves, with Clive Barnes of the NY Times championing it all the way. Barnes: “HAIR is the first Broadway musical in some time to have the authentic voice of today rather than the day before yesterday.”

6 months after the Broadway opening, a new company was formed in L.A.. L.A. HAIR settled down in the Aquarius Theater there for a 2 year run, the longest run of any show in L.A. Mae West came to the show & exclaimed: "My, you boys certainly have a lot of energy!"

On Broadway, the show ran 4 years at the Biltmore Theatre, & in London 5 years at the Shaftesbury Theatre in the West End. Eventually there were an unheard of, 9 companies in the USA. The talent was recruited from each city. The show played simultaneously in NYC, L.A., San Francisco, Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, Seattle, Boston, & Baltimore, in addition there were national touring companies.


The Broadway production was directed by Tom O'Horgan, & choreographed by Julie Arenal, with set design by Robin Wagner, costume design by Nancy Potts, & lighting design by Jules Fisher. The original Broadway "tribe"  included authors Rado & Ragni, who played the lead roles of Claude & Berger, respectively, with Lynn Kellogg as Sheila, Lamont Washington as Hud, Sally Eaton & Shelley Plimpton reprising their off-Broadway roles as Jeanie & Crissy, Melba Moore as Dion, Paul Jabara & Diane Keaton (both Moore & Keaton later played Sheila). Among the performers who appeared in Hair during its original Broadway: Ben Vereen, Keith Carradine, Barry McGuire, Ted Lange, Meat Loaf, Kenny Seymour (of Little Anthony & The Imperials), Joe Butler (of the Lovin' Spoonful), Heather MacRae (daughter of Gordon MacRae), Vicki Sue Robinson.

HAIR was nominated for Best Musical & Best Director at the Tony Awards, but lost out to 1776 in both categories.The production ran for 1,750 performances, closing on July 1, 1972, officially the end of the 1960s.

There was a decision to do the show in the local language of each country at a time when for productions of Broadway shows were always done in English. The translations followed the original script closely, & the Broadway staging & choreography were used. Each script contained various local references, such as street names & the names or depictions of local politicians & celebrities. The original international productions included tribes in: France, Germany (with Donna Summer as Dione), Mexico, Italy, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Switzerland, Vienna, Tokyo, Montreal, Sydney ( 6 African-Americans were brought to Australia to provide a racially integrated tribe),Sônia Braga appeared in the 1969 Brazilian production. Yugoslavia was the first HAIR to be produced in a communist country.

By 1970, HAIR was a huge financial success, the various productions of the show were raking in almost $1 million every 10 days, & royalties were being collected for 300 different recordings of the show's songs, making it the most successful score in history as well as the most performed score ever written for the Broadway stage. So much for the counter-culture.

HAIR is a musical celebration of life, a love letter to freedom, & a passionate plea for hope & change. It is the story of a group of friends who struggle to balance their young lives, loves, & the sexual revolution with their rebellion against war, their conservative parents, & society. In the waning days of their adolescence, and on the brink of adulthood, they are angry, hostile, confused, frightened of how the future is going to change them & of not knowing what comes next. They choose to speak up & sing out in celebration of peace, love, freedom, happiness & life.

The first great rock musical, HAIR has  a score I have not tired of in 44 years of listening, with some of the most soulful songs ever written for the stage including: Let the Sunshine In, Easy To Be Hard, Good Morning Starshine, Aquarius,& the hirsute title song. I never was in a production of HAIR, damn it, & now I don’t have any. In fact, with no hair on my head & biting at the ass of 60 years old, I am listening to the Original Broadway Cast of HAIR this very afternoon, while enjoying a joint & hoping for peace & understanding.

Words To Live By



"It is better to travel hopefully than to arrive."
Robert Louis Stevenson

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Born On This Day- April 28th... Cabaret Great Blossom Dearie


I am going to become a recluse. I can feel it coming on. Under the new austerity program, I have to diminish my participation in 2 of my favorite activities: cocktail sipping & shopping, & I look so damn feeble, I figure… why not just stay home? I think I am going to spend the summer at Post Apocalyptic Bohemia, receiving only the occasional guest, although I would love for any of you stop by for a glass of wine or a libation in the garden.

On the positive side, I am taking on the monumental project of dealing with my CD collection. The husband recently moved an extraordinary piece- a 15 foot long merchant's table with 20 drawers, European pine from the early 19th century, from the den to his studio. This major piece of furniture has long been the home to my music collection. I have decided that since I deal with mostly downloads in the new century, I would move the CDs into storage in my dressing room & free up the many drawers for his art supplies & found objects.

I like to look at each CD & think about why it is the collection & what it means to me, why the artists matters, & what moved me about the music in the first place... or else it goes.

Today is the birthday of a wonderful artist from my collection that was famous for being a bit of a recluse & guarding her privacy. I saw her perform at NYC's Danny’s Skylight Lounge, a number of times in the mid-1970s, at the very apex of her talent.


Singer, pianist & songwriter with an independent spirit, Blossom Dearie had a career that blurred the line between jazz & cabaret. An interpretive minimalist with caviar taste in songs, she rarely raised her sly voice, & she confided song lyrics in a playful style with layers of insinuation. But, just under her fey mask was a needling wit. It brought a breezy sophistication to all of her songs. If you listen closely, you can hear the caustic contempt she brings to her signature song- I’m Hip by Portland’s very own- Dave Frishberg. Mr. Frishberg wrote another of her classics- Peel Me a Grape.



All 6 of her albums on Verve- Blossom Dearie (1956), Give Him the Ooh-La-La (1957), Once Upon a Summertime (1958), Sings Comden & Green (1959), My Gentleman Friend (1959) & Soubrette Sings Broadway Hit Songs(1960) are cult classics. Check out the Vereve remix albums with the Brazylian Girls remix Blossom Dearie - doing Just One of Those Things. The last song Ms. Dearie recorded was -It’s All Right to Be Afraid, a comforting ballad dedicated to the victims & survivors of 9/11.

The jazz pixie with a little girl voice with a bit squeakiness & pageboy haircut was a fixture in New York for decades, she died in 2009 in her Greenwich Village apartment of 50 years. She was 84 years old.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Born On This Day- April 17th... B-52's Kate Pierson



The B-52s are commonly known as the "World's Greatest Party Band" & they call themselves "tacky little dance band from Athens, Georgia".

They dared to be different & way out there long before Lady Gaga , & welcomed everyone else who did the same. They were always embraced by The Gays. Decades before Born This Way, the B-52’s had a little ditty-Junebug: "Well, don't you listen to what they say. / We're a little different anyway. / Ain't it the truth, uh huh."

Following drinks at an Athens Chinese restaurant in October 1976, a group of friends formed the B-52s & named themselves after Southern slang for  big bouffant hairdos. The band soon attracted an ardent following, becoming the talk of Athens. They were soon doing gigs at CBGB’s, along with the Ramones, Television, & Blondie.

Their self-titled debut sold more than 500,000 copies with hit singles–Rock Lobster & 52 Girls. 35+ years & over 20 million album sales later, the B-52s remain are still going strong, playing a concert at the zoo here in Portland at the Oregon Zoo on the summer solstice. The band’s mix of punk, new wave & vintage rock certainly kept me dancing in the late 1970s & 1980s, & that accomplishment wouldn’t have been possible without Ricky Wilson (God rest his soul), Keith Strickland, Fred Schneider, Kate Pierson & Cindy Wilson. The B-52s continue to take their party music revolution into the 21st century, they show no signs of slowing down.

Three members of B-52's quartet are out & proud gay people, including today's birthday gay- Kate Pierson. She continues to give us style, wit, fun & retro-cool with her music.

Pierson has also worked with R.E.M., Iggy Pop, & was one of the members of NiNa, a band that achieved huge success in Japan in the 1990s.

In 2005, Pierson opened a motel- Kate's Lazy Meadow in upstate NY with her partner of 10 years- Monica Coleman. She is looking good & moving hot as she turns an astonishing 64 years old today.


Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Apology Song



I'm really sorry, Stephen
But your bicycle's been stolen
I was watching it for you
'Til you came back in the fall
Guess I didn't do such a good job after all

I was feeling really sorry, Stephen
& I spent all morning grieving
& everybody's saying
That you'll take the news gracefully
Somehow I don't think
 I'll be getting off that easily

I meant her no harm
When I left her unlocked
Outside the Orange Street Food Farm
I was just running in
Didn't think I'd be that long
I came out, she was gone
& all that was there was some bored old dog
Leashed up to the place where your
 Bicycle had been
Guess we'll never see poor Madeleine again

Let this be consolation, Stephen
That all the while you were in England
I treated her with care & respect
I gave her lots of love
& I was usually pretty good about
 Locking her up

Where has she gone?
Well, I bet she's on the bottom of the Frenchtown Pond
Rudely abused on some hescher's joyride
So I wrote you this song
In the hopes that you'd forgive me
Even though it was wrong
Being so careless with a thing so great
& taking your poor Madeleine away
Away

Despite The Fact That I Essentially Have No Income, I Cheered Myself Up By Going Out & Buying A New Car

My new Torker Boardwalk ST Cruiser

Apology Song – The Decemberists
Portland’s own The Decemberists’ lead singer- Colin Meloy tells about when the bike he was looking after was stolen.

Bicycles Are Red Hot -TV On The Radio
It is difficult to tell exactly what this Brooklyn band is saying in this song except that Bicycles Are Red Hot… especially in Brooklyn & Portland.

Bicycle Song- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Anthony Kiedis assures us that the bicycle is a good invention. It truly must be, he feels strongly enough about that fact to include it in a song that otherwise includes gratuitous references to oral sex.

It’s A Beautiful Day- The Beach Boys
A surfy slice of sun song that imagines an LA where the freeways are jammed with bicycles instead of cars.

Broken Bicycles- Tom Waits
Wait’s voice is as bumpy as the road you ride on. He uses bicycles as a metaphor tangled & twisted lost love.

Theme from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure- Danny Elfman
This fantastic, madcap theme fits perfectly with the whimsical, classic tale of a boy and his best friend- his bike.

Riding On My Bike- Madness
They sang about their house, now it’s their bike. The song tells the story of a cyclist with ominous background vocals suggesting sinister scoundrels trailing close behind.

Bicycle Race- Queen
As if there was ever any doubt, this song is the ultimate in cycling glorification. Freddie Mercury repeats “bicycle” 41 times & ringing bike bells act as the bridge.

The Bike Song- Mark Ronson & Business INT
Fresh & funny, I want to listen to this while riding.

Les Bicyclettes de Belsize- Engelbert Humperdinck
My personal favorite Bicycle Song, much loved in my childhood. I sang it at a 8th grade talent show at Sacajawea Junior High School in Spokane. I killed with this tune, of course.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Born On This Day- April 25th... Andy Bell


I have been a big fan of a certain pop happy duo since the mid-1980’s. Erasure consists of the straight songwriter/ keyboardist Vince Clark & openly Gay singer Andy Bell. One of Erasure’s fanatic fan bases comes from within the Gay community itself, where Andy Bell is regarded as a Gay Icon. Growing up with the belief that respect goes a long way, Bell learned that at an early age you should carry through in life what you want given back.

Despite a continued collaboration with Vince Clarke & Erasure, Bell has some of his own solo gigs as a much in demand DJ. If you don’t know Erasure's work, start with the compilation Total Pop! The First 40. Among the digitally remastered tracks: Oh, L’AmourA Little RespectBoy, Stand By Your ManChain Of Love, & Blue Savannah.

Erasure is known for elaborate stage shows & productions. Bell: “It is always fun creating the various productions. I play a creative role, but we have always had quite a production team. Our swan production was quite over the top.” I was zany for the wild, wild west routine with Bell singing Tammy Wynette’s Stand By Your Man with Erasure partner Vince Clarke (a straight boy) in full drag. Another favorite is his contribution to the original Red+Hot+Blue album- Cole Porter's Too Darn Hot.

In 1985, Clarke picked Andy Bell out of a large group to audition for a new group. Clarke had successfully created 2 other groups that I was mad for: Depeche Mode & Yazoo- featuring singer Alison Moyet. Bell: “I was #36 to audition. After many months in the studio, I also think they figured out I was gay with all the boys I had visiting me during that time.” After 30 years of hits, tours & travel with Clarke, the duo are still very close & continue to coordinate on new projects.

Bell is open about Sylvester & Freddy Mercury as his role models. Bell: “Freddy Mercury, if he were to still be alive today, would have been one of the top performers in the industry. He was so far ahead of his time. & when it comes to sexuality, these days that isn’t such an issue. We have evolved.” Bell claims he would love work with Annie Lennox, who remains one of his favorite singer.

Bell was part of The True Colors tour in 2007 & went to cities around the US and Canada. Presented by the Logo Channel, the tour featured Andy Bell with & without Erasure, Margaret Cho, Cyndi Lauper, Deborah Harry, Rosie O’Donnell & others. The benefit for the HRC, PFLAG & The Matthew Shepard Foundation was a stunning success.

Bell was one of the first pop stars to come out as being gay, & in 2004 he become one of the first pop stars to come out as HIV positive. Bell has known his status since June 1998, when he came down with a case of pneumonia, & was quite happy keeping the news to himself. But when speculation started last winter about his health during a recent double hip replacement, Bell thought he'd set the record straight & try to erase some of the stigma at the same time.

Bell lives the life in London with longtime partner- Paul Hickey. He turns 47 years old on this day- April 25th. Any musical message from Andy Bell will always bring a little RESPECT from Post Apocalyptic Bohemia.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Elephant In The Room



Real change does not happen over time. Real change comes about in a heartbeat. As the Teutonic Heidi Klume says so lovingly: “One day you are in & the next day you are out…

I don’t know how to articulate the profound changes to my life in the past 5 days. Indeed, I am legally hand-tied from saying certain things. I very rarely posted anything about my employment, never identifying the company I worked for on my little place on the Internet or on The Facebook, or even hinting at what service I provided.

Except for the very short few months when we landed in Portland in autumn of 2001, I have not been without a ‘day job” for 44 years. My last job lasted for a decade until last Thursday, just days away from my 10th anniversary, when I was abruptly laid off.

By a series of little miracles, I am able to not panic financially. Living frugally & with some degree of cunning, I will be able to survive for the next year & possibly beyond.


I have not had more than 5 days is a row away from the job that ate my life in the last decade. Really. So immediately, I started in on serious deep decompression. I am finally giving myself that full week off that I never had, after which, I am setting out on new adventures, attempting to make money from my writing & very possibly dipping my toe back into the show biz waters.

I am giving in, at last, to being a true Portlander: raising chickens, growing some of my own food, riding a bike, starting a band, & hopefully in the summer of 2013, if there is a summer of 2013, opening my own small coffee cart/shop in beautiful, historic Downtown Kenton, my own neighborhood & the location of The Husband’s new incarnation of his popular Downtown Portland pop-up shop- Boys’ Fort.

Boys' Fort 2: Beyond Thunderdome

But for now, I am throwing myself fully into being, like my idol- Ann Romney, a Stay-At-Home-Mom: having Post Apocalyptic Bohemia looking perfect for The Husband’s return, tending the garden, getting Junior to his ballet class & Lulu to soccer practice, off to the gym then to a fitting, having martinis at 3pm & doing some volunteer work, possibly reading stories to underprivileged homosexuals.


I need to re-do my acting resume, work on a business plan, & look at equipment for my own little neighborhood spot. I am thinking a coffee shop/gloryhole named Slurp.


Gaultier & Epperson Share A Gay Birthday


John Epperson“Tolerance isn't enough. Acceptance isn't enough. Understanding may be enough. But I don't know if you can understand unless you're inside a person's skin. What could be enough is just to somehow shed the fear & loathing, but the only way that can be done is if all the people who hate homosexuals realize there's a potential homosexual lurking in them. Sexuality is a transitory thing that could shift at any moment. It's bigger than all of us”.



After leaving his native Mississippi, young John Epperson moved to NYC & landed a job as the rehearsal pianist for the American Ballet Theater. He also began doing drag performances at nightspots Club 57 & the Pyramid Club. Epperson quit his job with the American Ballet Theater in 1991 in order to perform full-time as Lypsinka. He has since returned to his position at American Ballet Theater. Last year he had a non-drag role as the rehearsal pianist in the Film- Black Swan. What a stretch. It would have been more thrilling if Lypsinka had played the role, not to disparage Epperson's estimable talents.


Fueled by the early 1980s avant-garde, pop culture art scene in NYC, Epperson let flow his creative pluck into one of the more distinctive personas to emerge in contemporary performing arts: Lypsinka.

For the past 2 decades, Epperson's performances as Lypsinka have met with international acclaim for elevating drag & lip-synching to a beguiling world where Lypsinka speaks only through intricately interlaced bits of dialogue drawn from the considerable catalogue of American entertainment. Epperson turns 56 today.

_______________________________________________

Starting out as Pierre Cardin’s assistant in 1970, Jean Paul Gaultier showed his first collection in 1976 at the urging of his boyfriend- Francis Menuge, who was his partner in business & life, until he died of AIDS complications in 1990. Gaultier’s collections have always been influenced by street culture & the media & he’s known for twisting gender roles in his designs, often overshadowing the elaborate design & construction of his work. Gaultier has literally made a career for himself out of nothing but sheer determination & dedication. With no formal training, he has managed to create a self-made empire with no indication of slowing down. He is a magical master of the theatrical in his runway shows, displays & advertising.


An unconventional designer, Gaultier claims to finds inspiration in everyday life, drawing from what he says, “is the truth of an object”. His shows are fabulous events, & he uses every shape & size of model. Fearless & passionate in any endeavor he takes on, whether it is the biggest pop star of all time & her sold out world tour, or blockbuster sci-fi thriller movies, Gaultier is one the best. The bad boy of fashion turns 60 today.

Considering Streisand On Her 70th Birthday


Sometimes I am not the very model of a modern homosexual. I was insane for Barbra back when she was “Simply Barbra”, with the Egyptian eyeliner, the kooky thrift shop clothing, & the Modigliani posturing. Her television specials (1965-1973) were unlike anything I had seen before & I was mesmerized. The first was My Name Is Barbra (1965) made in black & white,& then came Color Me Barbra (1966) which has a sequence shot at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, with Streisand wandering among the masterworks & antiquities, singing Where Or When dressed as Nefertiti. Next she's among a circus of animals, singing Try To Remember to the elephant & poking fun at herself by looking eye to eye at an anteater & singing- "We have so much in common, it's a phenomenon." The final act is just her singing at a microphone, with Any Place I Hang My Hat Is Home & It Had to Be You. It made quite the impact on little gay 12 year old Stephen. I decided that a person with a big nose & unusual looks could be sexy & talented & adored instead of being made fun of & feeling like an outcast. I had talent damn it, & I was going to be a star!


I obsessively listened to her albums up through Stony End & then I started to loose interest. She took me down that Stony End, I never wanted go down that Stony End, but she took me down that Stony End. She was a Jewish girl from Brooklyn who “was raised on the good book Jesus & my mother worked the mines”. Huh? She seemed to be a woman with a once in a century vocal instrument & very questionable taste in material. Who could blame her for trying to be contemporary? Barbra started a career singing songs that were decades old then & going out of fashion. Songs from the theatre & standards being "the" pop music were being replaced with Rock & Folk.  It was Dylan & The Beatles. But, I would come back to her. I loved the album from 1974 simply named Barbra Streisand. It has a beautiful cover of Paul Simon’s Something So Right, that still gets to me, but it was followed by the horrible Butterfly with a really stinky cover of David Bowie’s Life On Mars (was there ever a worst match of material & singer?)...  & so it went through the decades. I would fall in love with her all over again with The Broadway Album (1985) & then she would come up with icky drek like A Love Like Ours (1999) with not a single redeeming cut.


I downloaded her latest, the Diana Krall produced- Love Is The Answer. Each song is done with a version done with Diana’s jazz quartet & a version with full orchestra, with arrangements by super-duper Johnny Mandel. The album contains some of my favorite songs…ever. In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning is like champagne & velvet. I appreciate that, at 67, her voice was richer on the bottom notes & huskier & a bit rough around the edges.


Last year, she did a small club gig (her last time was in 1961!) at the Village Vanguard for a small group of about 80, mostly fans that won the tickets in a contest from her website, plus pals like Nicole Kidman, Sarah Jessica Parker & the Clintons. I think that would have been amazing thing to have experienced. I was fortunate to see it in the comfort of my home, thanks to PBS. Barbra won me over again. I found her performance to be funny, raw & rather astounding. 


I have even more conflicted feelings about her film work…but not on this post, except to say that What’s Up Doc? is one of the best film comedies of all time & one of my favorites. When Barbra sings You’re the Top to Ryan O’Neal? Like Buttah.

Barbra singing Memories = please, NO!


Barbra singing C'est Si Bon from Color Me Barbra = perfection.

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