Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Born On This Day, 110 Years Ago, Dahling.... Gay Icon Tallulah Bankhead


I am a gay man of a certain age, where telling Tallulah stories & imitating the famed personality was de rigueur at brunches & parties. Now, who has heard of her?

She lived an amazing, spontaneously combustible life, brimming with panache. She loved men, women, liquor, & cocaine, & she smoked like an Alabama smokehouse. There are so many anecdotes about her. Let’s start with this one: It was 1931 & she was traveling to Hollywood for the first time. Riding with her on the train was Joan Crawford & her husband, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. Tallulah Bankhead: "Joan, Dahling… you're divine. I've had an affair with your husband. You'll be next."

Sadly her films are mostly uninteresting & do not showcase her considerable talents, except for Alfred Hitchcock’s Lifeboat. Her performance was fearless & memorable. Hitchcock knew how to use Bankhead’s skills.

The outsized Bankhead was perfect for the stage,& the theatre is where she made her mark: She triumphed as the conniving Regina in Lillian Hellman’s The Little Foxes, Sabina in The Skin Of Our Teeth, Private Lives & A Streetcar Named Desire.

Her molasses & whiskey voice, dry wit & impeccable timing Bankhead’s calling card, where her personality came through on radio & TV, with ingenious flare for the wicked & outré. The Sands Hotel in Las Vegas paid her, what was then, a very generous $20,000 per week to perform her solo show which included monologues, songs & poem readings

Bankhead was always very frank & forthcoming about taking lovers of both genders: “My father warned me about men & booze but he never said anything about women & cocaine.” She enjoyed assignations with Billie Holliday, Eva La Galliene, Marlene Dietrich, Mercedes de Acosta, Hattie McDaniel & Patsy Kelly. She never shied away from her attraction to men & she was said to be a loyal lifelong friends to her women.

Bankhead lived a life of audacious adventure & sensual sprees, with a skewed sense of humor & a penchant for the outspoken & outrageous. She was generous; the dividing line between friendship & employee was nearly invisible. Bankhead loved to have young, handsome gay men act as her valet, mixing drinks & drawing her baths. She felt emotions with gravity, & took disappointments in stride. She died too young, at the age of 62, in 1968, having had a raucous, ribald life, & she never wasted a moment of it.

Bankhead Quotes (& there are plenty of them, Dahling...):

"Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once."

"I did what I could to inflate the rumor I was on my way to stardom. What I was on my way to, by any mathematical standards known to man, was oblivion, by way of obscurity."

"I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, & I hate to be alone."

"I read Shakespeare & the Bible, & I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education."

"I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right."

"I'll come & make love to you at 5 o'clock. If I'm late start without me."

"I'm as pure as the driven slush."

"I've been called many things, but never an intellectual."

"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."

"If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience."

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time"

"Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it."

"They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum."






Monday, January 30, 2012

Born On This Day- January 30th... Mark Eitzel


Mark Eitzel was born on this day in 1959. He seems like the sort of guy I would spot at The Eagle, the neighborhood gay watering hole, sitting alone in a shadow, a guy who shows up in the afternoon & stays till last call, stirring his drink, sadly staring at the porn playing on the TV monitors over the bar, muttering to himself, or mouthing the words to an ABBA song playing on the stereo system. I am louche & lazy in a corner reading Dashiell Hammett & we sneek peeks at each other.

He is a gay guy who sang "Ain't no sunshine when he's gone" when he covered theBill Withers song. Eitzel is a guy who claims work at staying away from being labeled as a "gay" artist, but writes songs about Cleopatra Jones & dedicated songs to Barbra Streisand.

Eitzel has made a career out of being sorrowful. He was once the lead singer/songwriter for the band- American Music Club (1985-1994) with 7 albums, & he has released 13 solo albums. He is a songwriter of stunning talent, but his sadness is inescapable, inextricably intertwined into every line of his lyrics. Eitzel's indulgently miserable musings give off a torchy atmosphere. Eitzel composes emotionally eviscerating, elegiac, sometimes furious music. He sings in a plain, sloppy voice; the most heartbreaking thing about Eitzel is that his songs are often tinged with just the slightest bit of hope:

"Forgot there was such a thing as good people left
Can't you just save my life
I got a fresh screwdriver right before closing time..."

If he is new to you try something off 60 Watt Silver Lining from 1996. Remember the 1990s?



Sunday, January 29, 2012

Come Out Of The Closet! Two Out Entertainers Share A Birthday


Gay entertainers who stay in the closet are missing out on a chance to be a catalyst for change in the lives of young gay people across this great country, especially when we can more or less figure out that they homos.

Too many children today are living in an environment that indoctrinates them to consider homosexuality as sinful, deplorable, or even fictional. Millions of children are being convinced that they feel different because they simply want the attention. Young people deserve homosexual role models. But too many celebs remain afraid to come out. Coming out as gay can still potentially ruin a career, so many don't take the risk. The bigger your star the harder you fall. But the bigger you are, the bigger the impact your coming out might have.

I feel that sitting on a secret that could help gay youth come to terms with who they are, mean closeted show biz figures are cheating the world of positive examples of what it means to be homosexual. They need to get brave.

I remain a fan of the working class comedy- Rosanne.I consider it to be one of the 10 best sit-coms of all time. From 1988-1997, this very funny & groundbreaking show often featured gay story lines. In an episode titled: Don’t Ask/ Don’t Tell, proving that she's cool, Roseanne Conner (Roseanne Barr) goes out dancing at a gay bar wittily named "Lips" with her sister Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) & friend Nancy (Sandra Bernhard) & Nancy's girlfriend Sharon (Mariel Hemingway). Roseanne is having fun until Sharon kisses her, causing Roseanne anxiety. The next day, after discussing the kiss with Jackie & getting into an argument with Nancy, Roseanne realizes that she may not be as cool as she thinks she is. In the 1995 episode- December Bride, long-time character Leon (Martin Mull) marries his boyfriend Scott (Fred Willard). Roseanne's husband Dan (John Goodman) is distressed at seeing the men kiss & Roseanne chastises him for making a fuss about 2 people of the same sex kissing. Sharon (Hemingway, again) then sits down behind Roseanne & says hello. Her cameo serves as a callback to the earlier episode.

Sara Gilbert decided at a very young age that she wanted to be an actress after her older sister, Melissa Gilbert (one time SAG President), got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. At the age of 13 she nabbed the role of Darlene Conner, the sarcastic middle child, on Roseanne. Gilbert remained a cast member during the show's entire 9 year run. Her contribution was considered so important to Roseanne that the show's producers juggled storylines & taping schedules to allow her to attend Yale University while remaining part of the cast, shooting remote segments of Darlene at a soundstage in NYC. At Yale, she majored in photography, & graduated with honors in 1997.

Since 2007 she has appeared in series episodes of The Big Bang Theory as a scientist friend, with benefits, of the character played by adorkable-Johnny Galecki, who also portrayed her longtime boyfriend & husband David on Roseanne.

Gilbert is a co-host & executive producer of The Talk. Along with Gilbert, Julie Chen, Sharon Osbourne, Sheryl Underwood & Aisha Tyler co-hosts.

Gilbert finally came out publicly as a lesbian in 2010. She had been in a decade long relationship with TV producer Allison Adler. They have 2 children. They separated this past summer. Gilbert is now in a relationship with songwriter Linda Perry. Gilbert is a long time vegetarian & a supporter of PETA, Meals on Wheels, Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, & AIDS Project Los Angeles.



Adam Lambert cleared up any speculation about his sexuality in 2009 in an interview for Rolling Stone Magazine. Lambert: "I don't think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I'm gay, I've been living in LA for 8 years as a gay man. I embrace it, it’s just another part of me, but I'm trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader". Lambert, was sort of closeted on American Idol: "It would have been so sensationalized that it would overshadow what I was there to do, which was sing.”

As an openly gay man, Lambert has been an advocate for full equality. He was presented, by gay singer Sam Sparro, the Equality Idol award at Equality California annual Equality Awards for being a role model for the LGBT community. Lambert was honored at a PFLAG National LA event. He received a GLAAD Media Award nomination for Outstanding Music Artist in 2010. Lambert produced a YouTube clip for the "It Gets Better" campaign, encouraging fans to have pride in themselves & not allow bullies to win.

Lambert has given proceeds from his song- Aftermath to support The Trevor Project, the national organization providing crisis intervention & suicide prevention services to LGBT youth.

I have never owned any Lambert tunes, but I appreciate his big lungs & big hair, his huge, controlled vocal range & bombastic personality. I’m simply not a fan of American Idol style singing. This makes me feel very old.

Gilbert turns 37 years old today & Lambert, currently in a relationship with Finnish TV personality Sauli Koskinen, is 30 years old today. I'm sorry, but writing- "Finnish TV personality", just cracked me up.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Book Of Mormon

Our tiny, 700 sq. ft. cottage in the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle was a maze of walkways, with a few steps down & a few steps up, & covered walkways & several gates to maneuver before arriving at the front door.

One splendid summer afternoon in 1987, with temperatures in the 80s, I had every door & window wide open. I had the music cranked up to the limits. I was having a lovely time: singular, stoned & sublime of spirit.

I was listening to my beloved Eurythmics. There was much dog barking as I made my way to the first gate, where a pair of rather good looking Mormon missionaries, in black slacks & white shirts buttoned to the top button, stood & smiled as Annie Lennox & Dave Stewart were blasting out Missionary Man. I smiled & greeted them with the news that they were most certainly at the wrong address. I did compliment them on their perfect teeth as the lyrics to the song reminded us not to mess with the missionary man.

This would not be the only time in my in my life that I would scare away someone with my bare presence & music choice.


Well I was born an original sinner
I was born from original sin
& if I had a dollar bill
 For all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money
 Piled up to my chin

My mother told me good,
My mother told me strong
She said, "Be true to yourself
 & you can't go wrong"
But there's just one thing
 That you must understand
You can fool with your brother
But don't mess with a missionary man

Don't mess with a missionary man
Don't mess with a missionary man
Don't mess with a missionary man

Oh, the missionary man,
He's got God on his side
He's got the saints & apostles
 Backin' up from behind
Black eyed looks from those Bible books
He's a man with a mission,
 Got a serious mind

There was a woman in the jungle
& a monkey on a tree
The missionary man he was followin' me
He said:
 "Stop what you're doin',
 Get down upon your knees
I've a message for you that you better believe"

Believe, believe, believe, believe
Believe, believe, believe, believe
Believe, believe, believe, believe
Believe, believe, believe, believe
Believe, believe, believe, believe

Well I was born an original sinner
I was born from original sin
& if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money

Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money

No, don't mess with him
 No, no
Oh baby
Don't mess with a missionary man
Oh, Please
Don't you mess with him
 Don't you mess with a that man
He's a missonary man!
Stewart & Lennox
1986


Sorry for the ad!

I Will Survive

After reading that Mitt Romney had his scientist/atheist father-in-law baptised as a Mormon after he was dead, I have become restless, sleepless & hapless with the possibility that this could happen to me. I can't shake the paranoia.

You, my dear readers of my little spot on the Internet, are as close as I have to family. I am the only son of an only son. I am the end of the line. So, I am begging you to not let this happen to me. Don't convert me after I have left my body. Do not make me wear special underwear in the next incarnation.

I am leaving a few instructions & I am counting on you to see this through:
1. I do not wish to be buried or cremated. I want my body to go to a University where I will have scientists questioning my brain & penis size & how they relate.
2. In my obituary, mention that I enjoyed unprecedented success as an actor, singer, horticulturalist, writer, & lover. Claim that I won an Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Oscar, Pulitzer. Claim that I had the #1 album- Jock Straps & Vicodin, for 113 weeks.
2. Publish that although it has been noted that I was a perfect partner & spouse to one man for 50+ years, that I also had passionate affairs with: Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Kurt Russell, Robert Conrad, Paul Newman, Twiggy, Alan Bates, Jack Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Lawrence Olivier, Marlon Brando, Steve McQueen, Sean Connery. Joe Dellesandro, James Dean, Warren Beatty, Sting, Jon Hamm, James Franco, Seal, Daniel Craig, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Taye Diggs, Hugh Jackman, Nancy Walker, Sidney Poitier, The Queen Mother & Cher... & yet never have had a sexually transmitted disease.
3. I insist that there be no funeral, but a memorial service would be acceptable, & a party would be preferred. I have a list of 10 songs that I want played at my party/memorial service:
If I Had A Boat- Lyle Lovett
Fly Me To The Moon (In Other Words)- Frank Sinatra
Beyond The Sea- Bobby Darrin
Every Breath You Take- The Police
Waters Of March- Art Garfunkel
Once In A Lifetime- Talking Heads
Don't Cry For Me Argentina- Patti Lupone
Something Good- Julie Andrews & Christopher Plummer
God Only Knows- The Beach Boys
I Will Survive- Gloria Gaynor

Your Host circa 1992


At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
& I grew strong
& I learned how to get along

& so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face

I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me

Go on now ,go walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down & die?

Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
& I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
Not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken heart
& I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high

& you see me
Somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
Still in love with you
& so you felt like dropping in
& just expect me to be free
But now I'm saving all my loving
For someone who's loving me

Go on now go walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down & die?

Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as i know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
& I'll survive
I will survive

Go on now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down & die?

Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive

I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
& I'll survive
I will survive
I will survive!
Perrin & Fekaris
1978














Friday, January 27, 2012

Don't Stop, Don't Stop... I Think I'm Cumming!

The Husband & I caught the film- The Anniversary Party the other evening while channel surfing & we decided to stay with it, although we had rented it years ago. One of the stars is Kevin Kline, one of the great loves of my life. But I kept riffing on the the career & personality of Alan Cumming. I was 1st aware of Cumming in 1998 through his Tony winning turn as the emcee in the Sam Mendes-Rob Marshall revival of Cabaret. He certainly seemed to be a very arresting figure when I saw him on the Tony Broadcast.

Photo by David LaChapelle

Cumming has played classical roles in an extremely eclectic career, including a very well received Hamlet in London, but his main image seems to be: naughty impish scamp, a persona that holds my interest. Cumming has done nothing to discourage this, playing a variety of louche characters: Dionysus, Mack the Knife, the Devil, in theater & film. He wrote a semiautobiographical novel-Tommy's Tale, about a sex obsessed, drug ridden bisexual; & starring in a provocative campaign promoting the fragrance line that bears his last name. I have yet to see the Good Wife, but I understand that he really bites into his role of Lawyer Eli Gold.

I downloaded his rather good album- Blue Car, with songs of love & loss by such songwriters as John Bucchino (A Catered Affair), William Finn (Falsettos) & pop singer Jimmy Webb as well as originals by Cumming himself with his musical director, Lance Horne. I am impressed with his non-theatre singing & his surprisingly touching interpretations.

I can be so very juvenile, I still giggle as I type his last name. Cumming lives in NYC with his husband, graphic artist Grant Shaffer, & their dogs- Honey & Leon.The couple dated for 2 years before entering into a civil partnership in Britain. Cumming and Shaffer married in NYC earlier this month, the 5th anniversary of their London wedding. Cumming turns 47 years old today.

Cumming is himself a Blogger. Check out his entertaining spot on the Internet.

Born On This Day- January 27th... Ethan Mordden

Photo by Charles Higgins Jr for NY Times

His section in my bookshelves takes up quite a bit of space with more than 20 volumes of Theatre & Film commentary & history, with deeply held beliefs & blistering opinions. His fiction, includes the highly addictive, waggish & woeful Buddies series. For me Ethan Mordden is my era’s Charles Dickens.

Still in his 20s, he published his Better Foot Forward: The History of American Musical Theatre. He continues to write about his obsession with the performing arts. I relished his series on Broadway musicals, each one covering a decade. Other show biz books, out of dozens: Movie Star: A Look At The Women Who Made Hollywood (1983), Demented: The World of the Opera Diva (1984), & The Happiest Corpse I’ve Ever Seen: The Last 25 Years of the Broadway Musical (2004).

When I first started reading Mordden, he was writing reviews & semi-autobiographical pieces for Christopher Street magazine (Gosh, I wish I had not tossed my complete collection of Christopher Streets during a move). The stories were written in the voice of Bud, a gay man in NYC telling stories about his chosen family of other urban gay men. Mordden collected the sketches into- I’ve Got a Feeling We’re Not in Kansas Anymore (1985), which started a series that is rather like a NYC Tales Of The City. Mordden published the Buddies serial: Buddies (1986), Everybody Loves You (1988), Some Men Are Lookers (1997), & How’s Your Romance? (2005). Other novels that are smart & engaging: How Long Has This Been Going On? (1995) & my favorite- The Venice Adriana (1998), set in the world of Opera.

In Fall 2010, Mordden released- The Guest List: How Manhattan Defined American Sophistication, from the Algonquin Round Table to Truman Capote’s Ball. This one of my favorite books about my much loved NYC, with anecdotes of: Algonquin Hotel, Stork Club, Alexander Woollcott, Irving Berlin, Edna Ferber, Arturo Toscanini, Leonard Bernstein, Cole Porter, Dorothy Parker, Truman Capote, the Lunts & Helen Hayes. Their books, plays, performances, speeches, dinner parties, masked balls, loves, hates, likes & dislikes became the stuff of dreams for the rest of the nation, Mordden chronicles the city’s most powerful, potent, persuasive period.


Along with the Armistead Maupin books & Felice Picano’s Like People in History, Mordden’s Buddies Series remains an inviting way to remember an important era in urban gay male history. Start with the first & spend a season moving on to the others. I recommend him highly. Mordden makes his home in Manhattan. Her turns 63 years old today.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

"I Don't Seem To Be Able... To Depart."


ESTRAGON: "I can't go on like this."

VLADIMIR : "That's what you think."

Samuel Beckett, from Waiting for Godot

How To Look Terrific When You Are Over 50

"I never really have a plan. My point is, by the time I was your age, I thought I knew who I was. But I had no idea. Like for example, when I was your age, I was dating men.... So, what I'm saying is, when you're older, most of you will be gay! .... The way I ended up on this path, was from a very tragic event. I was, maybe, 19, & my girlfriend at the time died in a car accident. & I passed the accident, & I didn't know it was her, & I kept going.... I started this path of stand-up, & it was successful, & it was great but it was hard because I was trying to please everybody, & I had this secret that I was keeping that I was gay. & I thought that if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me. Really, when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing was it to be true to yourself.''

From a commencement speech delivered by Ellen DeGeneres at Tulane University, in her hometown of New Orleans.


A decade & 1/2 ago, DeGeneres was on top of the show biz world, with a popular sitcom, club appearances, dipping her toes into feature films, & then came the Oprah confession (Winfrey would go on to play her therapist when DeGeneres came out herself in an episode of her own show), & the public was drawn to the drama of a Hollywood celebrity coming out, a revelation that was not as common or acceptable then as it is now. Her coming out ignited a storm of controversy, prompting ABC to place a parental advisory at the beginning of each episode of the show & then show took a dive in the ratings, & Ellen was cancelled in 1998. Pop culture pundits suggested that her public coming out, her heartfelt admission of her homosexuality on The Oprah Winfrey Show, had killed her career.

DeGeneres returned to standup &, in 2001, rebounded in prime time with The Ellen Show, a sitcom in which she portrayed a lesbian. The show lasted only a year, & many dismissed it as a good try, but conservative America probably just wasn't ready for a loud & proud lesbian TV star. But, times did start to change, & sexuality became somewhat less of an issue in Show Biz.

In 2003,with the closet door wide open door, DeGeneres stepped out as the host of crisp new daytime talk show. The Ellen DeGeneres Show is not only a ratings winner but it has turned the comedienne into a much loved mainstream star. I adore the way she mentions her wife as a toss off. She never pushes.

The times, they are a-changin'. These days it seems that everybody loves DeGeneres. I do; I am watching her show at this moment. She just had Mario Lopez strip to show his Underwear. Thank you, Ellen!



Her distinctive hip populism cuts across divergent demographics without dividing. As an interviewer, she is sweet & naturally funny, a perfect host who just happens to be a lesbian. Middle America, to my surprise, embraced her uniqueness & today, DeGeneres has a bunch of Emmys, & represents American Express & Cover Girl in commercial campaigns. She hosted the Emmys & the Oscars, the 1st openly gay person to do so.

DeGeneres' has given passionate, persuasive & poignant voice to the position of gay people, especially gay youth.of the show's appeal, of course, is that DeGeneres does not apologize or shy about being gay, joking & sharing details about her life with Portia de Rossi. They legally married in a ceremony at their Beverly Hills home in 2008.

I have always found DeGeneres to be funny & original, & think that she is a true hero to gay people. She looks smashingly good on her 54th birthday! I guess lots of money, a hit show, awards, a personal trainer & a beautiful spouse is the secret to looking good after 50.


DeGeneres shares her birthday with someone special in my life. MGC has been my friend for nearly 40 years. We met when we were both puppies, undergrads at Loyola Marymount University in L.A. We attended 2 different universities together & we have lived in 3 different cities at the same time, not because of each other & without consulting each other; we just kept ending up at the same spot. We worked on, in various capacities, several theatre projects together.


MGC circa 1974 & today... pretty adorable, huh?

MGC has never been anything like my best friend, but we are good friends & honest friends. We lived together once & we have known each other in the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, the Aughts & now the Teens. MGC & I have never had a fight, a fuss, or egos, amigos. We once had a flirtation, & that didn't even dent our friendship. It is my understanding that he has bragged that I was one of the most inventive lovers that he has experienced.

We have gone a few years without seeing each other, but we always seem to find our way back again. When we are with each other, I enjoy his company so much that I always ask myself- "Why is it that I don't spend more time with this handsome, smart, strong, spiritual, sweet man?"

I would like to think that Ellen would persuade MGC to strip on afternoon TV.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


I experienced it this summer, like many summers before. A perfect summer evening with sunset at 10pm, 80 degrees, & a sky slowly hanging out its stars. I am a bit lubricated, in the back garden & the soundtrack for the twilight is Francis Albert Sinatra & Antonio Carlos Jobim (1967). This curious collaboration brought forth a nearly perfect album. I love Brazilian music & I am enamored of the Portuguese language, & most significant for me, Jobim is the composer of one of my favorite songs, a composition that I wish to be played at my memorial service. Take Note.


Antonio Carlos Jobim was brought in to our relationship by each of us separately. While taking a break from making out, The man that would become my husband & I were already madly in love with the same man. He was the best export from Brazil since coffee & the waxing of ladies’ Copacabana parts.

Even if they can’t name him right away as the composer, just about everybody knows some of the bossa nova music of Antonio Carlos Brasileiro de Almeida Jobim. His seductive melodies have become part of the standard song repertoire throughout the world.

Jobim was born in l927 in Rio de Janeiro. He was a "beach boy" hanging out in the bars & coffeehouses along the white sand of Copacabana and Ipanema. He was immersed in his first love & he never did get around to becoming an architect as he had planned. So many kinds of music were popular in Brazil when Jobim was a young man in the 1940s, including the delicate harmonies of the French impressionists & American jazz. Jobim absorbed them in the the music of Brazil: the fast & fiery Afro-Brazilian sambas & the lush if lazy, Moorish ballads of Portuguese settlers.

Jobim creatively combined elements of all these styles into a fresh new “now” sound. He had his first big international hit with Desafinado, recorded by tenor saxophonist Stan Getz & guitarist Charlie Byrd in 1962. Check out Getz/João Gilberto album with Jobim’s creation that made musical history-The Boy From Ipanema featuring Getz, guitarist João Gilberto, &, as a last-minute addition, Gilberto’s wife- Astrud, on vocals. The entire album is stocked with superb Jobim songs, marvelously arranged.

I have a large selection of music form Brazil in my collection & Jobim’s work has been covered by many American artists. Add at least one of his albums to his collection.

His composition- Águas de Março is one of the most important songs in my life filled with songs. It is a collage, the musical version of The Husband’s assemblages. It is also a list song, & I love a list.

In both the Portuguese & English: a stick, a stone, a sliver of glass, a scratch, a cliff, a knot in the wood, a fish, a pin, the end of the road. The Waters Of March, the rainiest season in Brazil & the end of summer. This song gives me the image of the passing of daily life & the progression towards death. In both langauges, the lyrics speak of "the promise of life”. Regretful/Happy.


Jobim made sublime music to the end of his life. He died in 1994.

Águas de Março

Your Host & the Husband circa 1980

A stick, a stone,
It's the end of the road,
It's the rest of a stump,
It's a little alone

It's a sliver of glass,
It is life, it's the sun,
It is night, it is death,
It's a trap, it's a gun

The oak when it blooms,
A fox in the brush,
A knot in the wood,
The song of a thrush

The wood of the wind,
A cliff, a fall,
A scratch, a lump,
It is nothing at all

It's the wind blowing free,
It's the end of the slope,
It's a beam, it's a void,
It's a hunch, it's a hope

& the river bank talks
Of the waters of March,
It's the end of the strain,
The joy in your heart

The foot, the ground,
The flesh & the bone,
The beat of the road,
A slingshot's stone

A fish, a flash,
A silvery glow,
A fight, a bet,
The range of a bow

The bed of the well,
The end of the line,
The dismay in the face,
It's a loss, it's a find

A spear, a spike,
A point, a nail,
A drip, a drop,
The end of the tale

A truckload of bricks
In the soft morning light,
The shot of a gun
In the dead of the night

A mile, a must,
A thrust, a bump,
It's a girl, it's a rhyme,
It's a cold, it's the mumps

The plan of the house,
The body in bed,
& the car that got stuck,
It's the mud, it's the mud

Afloat, adrift,
A flight, a wing,
A hawk, a quail,
The promise of spring

& the riverbank talks
Of the waters of March,
It's the promise of life
It's the joy in your heart

A stick, a stone,
It's the end of the road
It's the rest of a stump,
It's a little alone

A snake, a stick,
It is John, it is Joe,
It's a thorn in your hand
& a cut in your toe

A point, a grain,
A bee, a bite,
A blink, a buzzard,
A sudden stroke of night

A pin, a needle,
A sting, a pain,
A snail, a riddle,
A wasp, a stain

A pass in the mountains,
A horse & a mule
In the distance the shelves
Rode 3 shadows of blue

& the riverbank talks
Of the waters of March,
It's the promise of life
In your heart, in your heart

A stick, a stone,
The end of the road,
The rest of a stump,
A lonesome road

A sliver of glass,
A life, the sun,
A knife, a death,
The end of the run

& the riverbank talks
Of the waters of March,
It's the end of all strain,
It's the joy in your heart.
Jobim
1971

I Will Take Dowdy Gay British Writers Of The 20th Century for $1000, Alex...

"At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, & talk well but not too wisely."

Although W. Somerset Maugham rarely spoke publicly about his sexuality, he has been embraced as one of the most renowned gay authors of all time. Maugham: "I was a 1/4 normal & 3/4 queer, but I tried to persuade myself it was the other way round. That was my greatest mistake."

Maintaining the habit of writing for several hours each morning, Maugham produced 30 plays, 24 novels, & more than 100 magazine articles. With his cynical wit & straightforward style, he was more popular among masses than the literary set, & he always felt like an outsider to the establishment. Although Maugham's highly acclaimed works – including Of Human Bondage (1915), The Constant Wife (1927), & The Razor's Edge (1944) made him the most famous & wealthiest author of his day, he never received the honor of knighthood.

There are over 50 film & TV adaptations of Maugham's work, even into the new century with The Painted Veil (2006), Being Julia (2004), Up at the Villa (2000). Try 1934's Of Human Bondage with Bette Davis & Rain (1932) with Joan Crawford.



The moment I put down Michael Cunningham’s The Hours, I picked up Mrs. Dalloway to follow the connection, It was the 1st time in decades that I had read any Virginia Woolf, but in my early 20s, I went on a serious Bloomsbury Group jag, reading everything by & about this remarkable group.

The Bloomsbury Group has gone down in history for the many contributions its members made to literature & art. The group's intellectual core was Virginia Stephen, who became Virginia Woolf when she married in 1912. Today she is recognized as one of the great modernist novelists. She & her husband, Leonard, founded Hogarth Press, a publishing house that brought some of the most significant literature of the era into print including T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland.

The group was also interesting because they demonstrated a sexual freedom that was very ahead of their time. Beginning in 1925, Virginia Woolf had a passionate affair with the dashing Vita Sackville-West. In the first flush of romance, Woolf wrote what has become a classic of gay fiction, the experimental fantasy Orlando (1927), which argued that love & passion ignore gender, & that gender itself is fluid.

Others in the Bloomsbury group gravitated to new ways of looking at love. Although Vanessa Stephen married Clive Bell, the great love of her life was Duncan Grant, who was gay & had been sexually involved with her brother Adrian. During World War I, they lived together at a country estate with David "Bunny" Garnett, who was a lover of both.

3 way relationships with a gay twist were common within the Bloomsbury circle. Strachey was gay, but in the early days of Bloomsbury, he proposed marriage to Virginia. In the 1920s, he lived in platonically with painter Dora Carrington. When they both fell in love with the same man, Carrington married the object of their mutual desire, & the 3 set up housekeeping together. The cross dressing Carrington had affairs with women, confiding to a friend that she had "more ecstasy" with female lovers than with men - "& with no shame."

Virginia Woolf was the center, the gravity & the soul of the group, which unraveled after she drowned herself in the spring of 1941.

"I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it."

Woolf, in1882 & Maugham, in 1874, were born on this day- January 25th.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

& For My Next Number... Cole Porter's Don't Fence Me In


I did a post on rising this morning. I wanted to be casual about the anniversary of this little place on the Internet. I worked a 12 hour day & I took a moment to look at the blog on my new Iphone (I can't leave it alone! I have apps!) & I was horrified to see that Blogger had juxtapositioned fonts & the post didn't feel right visually. I am blocked from blogging, porn & Facebook at my place of employment (I know, what sort of job is that?) & I continued to think about the future of my espousing opinions & relating tales on this blog all day.

I started Post Apocalyptic Bohemia as a challenge to myself. I wanted to tell my story & having given up performing, I was craving a bit of attention. I fumbled at the beginning. Promising a post each day was daunting. Looking at the posts from the first year embarrasses me now, but I am standing by them. Like so many events in my life, I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.

I wanted to tell my story, because, when I would recounted pieces of my life to others, I was reminded that my life has been awesome & amusing, titillating & touching, sad & silly, but never normal.

I am a pre-Stonewall gay man. I am so old that I remember that the few hopeful points of being a homo were that you wouldn’t have to get married & have children, & you wouldn’t have to serve in the military. I never dreamed in my lifetime that gays would fight a winning battle to be able to be a member of the armed forces & to marry, settle down & have a family.

For me, coming out in my early teens, I saw being gay as a gift. If I had been born straight, I would have been The Man. I would have been an Anglo, heterosexual male, & I was more predispositioned to being an outsider & I thank God for making me distinctive, dissident & deviant.

I wished to acquaint readers with the lives of the famous homos. I desired for readers to like me, & discover me as pretty, witty & gay.

This is the life I dream: I awake early each day & after a power, protein shake, I work out with my personal trainer- Bruno, who works me hard & keeps me at single digit body fat.

I have coffee & spend the morning recounting the lives of famous gay people born on that day, give my opinion on culture & read other people’s blogs.

I enjoy a light lunch of salad & champagne before heading out for rehearsals for Steve! - my saucy, sassy show on HBO. I introduce myself to this week’s guests: Anderson Cooper, Angela Lansbury, Michele Obama, Daniel Craig & Sandra Bernhard.

Anderson & I are going to be singing- Together, Wherever We Go from Gypsy, after our zany sketch where my face is Cooper’s Bicycle seat. Ms Lansbury & I have a spot where we look back on our times working together before breaking into Bosom Buddies from Mame. The First Lady & I do a gardening segment. With Mr. Craig, there is a demonstration of how to mix the perfect Martini & Manhattan, after which we depict Greek lovemaking positions in silhouette behind a scrim. Sandra & I dish delightfully & do a cover of Barracuda by Heart. The entire show wraps up with all my guests in a rousing medley of favorite early rap numbers: Rapture, Woody Rappinghood, & Rapper’s Delight.

This is the reality: rise early, make coffee, & attempt to impart something fresh, facetious & fascinating on Post Apocalyptic Bohemian. I take the terriers for their walk while continuing to write in my head. Then off to the job I must perform to have an income. I will attempt to do this better than anyone else... or at least with more invention & intelligence. Then I will come back, at the end of the day, to my uncommon home, 2 tenacious terriers & one shining, skilled, smart spouse. Not at all, a bad gig.

I am thankful for what I have,  most certainly including the readers of my little spot on the Internet. You are loved. Really. Thank you for 3 years. As The Husband once knowingly said: "you never said more than 2 words for 25 years... & now you won't shut up."

Great Moments In Design: Veuve Clicquot




It is a very sexy shade of yellow/gold. I have long dreamed of having a glass front refrigerator filled with Veuve Clicquot perfectly faced.

I hold the idea that Yellow is one of my least favorite colors, until I remember how much I love the color of the packaging of my favorite champagne, the eponymous Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin Yellow Label.

It is a color that captures self confidence, rare emotions & a sense of well-being: Tangerine, Nasturtium. Rothko put away his dark & tortured tone with squares of yellow. India's Yellow tends toward Gold: the setting of the sun to the break of dawn, symphonies of saffron, curry, papaya, amber mustard, pulpy orange. Buddhist monks of Tibet live in the beating heart of yellow, the color of wisdom & eternity.

The yellow of Veuve Clicquot labels came to life in late 1800s to distinguish the sweeter champagne preferred by the Russians whose bottle had the original white label. The yellow label was for the dry Champagne loved by the Brits & Americans. The first yellow was pale of hue, & faded by the time it made its way to the customers aboard cargo ships.

A decision was made to a deep yellow-orange. In 1877 it was officially registered as the Veuve Clicquot color so no other champagne manufacturer was allowed to use it. The color & design of the label has remained the same for over 140 years. It is a daring, dateless, delightful, divine color.The color of autumn of the sun, audacious, anxious, & spiritul.

Today is the 3rd anniversary of Post Apocalyptic Bohemian. I started to blog as a challange to myself on my 55th birthday. It took me 21 days to do the first post. By April I was asking myself to create a post a day. I had supposed that I could post about my fairly interesting life so far & celebrate famous gay folk on their birthdays. I dared myself to put out, into the universe, a mention of the things that I embraced with some passion: Design, Fashion, Music, Books, Film, Theatre, Adventure, & Love.

Nearly 4 months into daily posts, I was delighted to discover that someone on the World Wide Web would stop & read what I had posted. I had no inkling 3 years ago that individuals around the globe would desire a dose of the life of The Post Apocalyptic Bohemian every now & then.

Thanks to The Husband for the photographs & edits & for sticking it out. When I started PAB, we were, quite certainly, on the verge of divorce. The Husband: "I wasn't ever going to divorce. You get through the tough times with your partner..."

Thank you, from deep in being, to every person that ever peeked, pondered, & participated in my little spot on the Internet. When I return home I will toast you, the readers.

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