Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Closet Cases

It was January 2010 that Calvin Klein threw a 21st birthday party for his gay porn star/model boyfriend Nick Gruber (he graduated high school in 2009!) at a hot NYC nightspot- Indochine. The invitation actually read: “It will be the hottest ticket for New York’s gay & fashion elite”? I guess that was quite the statement, the guest included: Anna Wintour, Steven Klein, Donna Karan, Daphne Guinness, Ingrid Sischy , Vera Wang, closet case Evan Lysacek, my occasional lover-Andy Cohen, Ian Schrager, & “100 male models”.

Klein & Gruber broke up in July, & got back together within 3 weeks, when they were seen holding hands on the street & kissing in broad daylight in NYC. They apparently are still together.

I am actually appreciative & approve of Klein's design philosophy of minimalism, extreme simplicity, clean & modern & his trademark earth tones.  It pains me to know that is rather a douche. 

In the early 1970s Klein was the first designer to win 3 consecutive Coty Awards for women’s wear, & in 1975, he was the youngest designer of ready-to-wear clothes ever elected to the Coty Hall of Fame. Klein: “the clothes are simple, comfortable but stylish clothes, nothing over scale or extreme”. His achievements in clothing & home designs are a sort of triumph of his particular brand of classical styling.

Perhaps more than for his designs, Klein became famous for his ads, some of which skirted on the scandalous. One series of ads featured a teen aged Brooke Shields modeling a pair of blue jeans & informing us: “nothing comes between me & my Calvins.” Klein's underwear ads, with photographs by Herb Ritts & Bruce Weber used models like Mark Wahlberg made me cheer for men as objectified sex objects. I once stopped mid-stride to gape at a gigantic Mary Mark above Times Square. Klein turns a convincing 70 years old today.


I like her well enough. I certainly appreciate her talent & dedication to the craft of acting. I don’t love her enough to shoot a President, although it was a sad day for me when John Hinckley missed. I first noticed her as Becky Thatcher in a crappy musical version of Huckleberry Finn (produced by Readers' Digest, no less) in 1973. I thought- “wow, that little girl sure is butch, just how I like my girls!” But, I turned around & she really held my attention & interest in the wonderful Scorsese flick- Alice Doesn’t Live Her Anymore.

Alicia Christian Foster began acting in commercials when she was 3 years old, & her first important role came in 1976 in Taxi Driver as a preteen prostitute. She received an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Also that same year she starred in the cult film The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane. She finally won that Oscar for Best Actress in 1989 for playing a rape survivor in The Accused. In 1991, Jodie Foster received a 2nd Oscar & international acclaim for The Silence of the Lambs.

She received her 4th Academy Award nomination for playing a hermit in Nell (1994) a film that I disliked, although I do a first rate imitation of her work in this film. Other popular films: Maverick(1994), Contact (1997), Panic Room (2002), Flight Plan (2005), Inside Man (2006), The Brave One (2007) & Nim's Island (2008), all of which I found dreadful or at least peculiar.

Foster's films have spanned a wide variety of genres, from family films to horror. She has also won 3 Bafta Awards, 2 Golden Globes, a Screen Actors Guild Award, & has received 2 Emmy nominations.

Deeply in the closet, Her recent "mid-life crisis" was probably the subject of much speculation at soft ball practices, therapy sessions & over wholewheat muffins in bakeries around Hollywood by the entire lesbian community of L.A.

Foster had dramatically ditched 55 year old Cydney Bernard, her partner of more than 15 years - for Cynthia Mort, 33, a highly intelligent, big deal writer, who has made a name for herself by giving viewers some of the most explicit sex talk on TV, & was an executive producer on Will & Grace. Mort dumped Foster for her former girlfriend Amanda Demme.

Foster opened the closet door a crack when she accepted the Sherry Lansing Leadership Award in 2007. Foster: "Thank you to beautiful Cydney, who stuck with me through all the rotten & the bliss".

About the breakup, Foster stated: "Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it & I go: 'I think I'll just kick it.'"

More peculiar than Foster’s inability to fully come out of the closet is her defense of crazy, abusive, homophobic, anti-Semitic Mel Gibson. Foster & Gibson have a history, they appeared together in Maverick. In 2010, Foster had to live with the jokes for her bomb- The Beaver, in which she directed & co-starred with Gibson. Gibson's big comeback movie grossed less than one million dollars.

Last year Foster appeared in Carnage, written & directed by Roman Polanski, based on the acclaimed play God Of Carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza, & featuring Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz & John C. Reilly.

Foster turns 50 years old today. She has never actually acknowledged her personal life or relationships. For somebody of her power, influence, & fame being silent is cowardly. She thinks Mel Gibson is "incredibly loved." Why are her gay fans, who fell in love with her in Bugsy Malone, not saying that she is no longer a role model, & hold their applause?


  1. poor, poor calvin.

    all the surgery, implants and porn stars
    won't help him to cease rotting.

  2. Those Marky Mark photos are still in my wank bank.

    I am surprised Anna Wintour has anything to do with some no neck porn star, be association or otherwise.

  3. wrt Foster

    Contact stands out, because that year (1997) it was the only movie she starred in and she got nominated for an Academy Award for just this one awesome performance.

  4. Calvin Klein is gay? I thought he was married?
    As if that changes anything.
    Jodie Foster...I don't like a woman who's voice is deeper than mine. And you too Kathleen Turner.


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