Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Power Of Pussy

I am compelled to come out of the closet. I was afraid of what society would think. I needed to face my own self loathing. I have known for some time, but I have not been strong or honest. I have stood on the sidelines as friends & co-workers came out publicly, only to be ostracized, ridiculed, fervently prayed over, & physically harmed. It did not take long to learn who their friends were, who tolerated them, & who would no longer have anything to do with them. But now I that I am coming out of the closet, I am discovering strength & spirit.

I feel it is my responsibility to give my top reasons to come out of the closet.

1. Honesty – You just don’t wake up one day & discover that there is something “different”... well, maybe you do. For me it was a process, like baking a cake–except here you don’t get to lick the spoon. Coming out offers you an opportunity to live an honest lifestyle. Some people will say: “It’s nobody’s concern”, except this is a big part of your own experience & that regardless of what you think, it is already everybody’s business. Coming out isn’t about the world, it’s about you. If you decide to come out, consider all the pressures that are lifted; no more lying, sneaking, or carrying the guilt. It’s that negative part of “the secret” that adds to stigma that is wrong. Revaluate why you keep hiding it. To be honest with yourself will give you power.

2. Increased Self-Esteem – Something happens after you come out. You discover other people just like you & you no longer feel isolated from the world. You feel better about yourself & your decision, which adds value to your life. Looking in the mirror becomes a beautiful thing & it gets better with time. You are not a stereotype.

3. The Power of Tolerance – Coming out not only frees you from the bonds of secrecy but it also prepares you for the rest of your  life & all it throws at you. You become more tolerant towards others. Now that I am open, I try to be tolerant of those struggling with their issues but it isn’t always easy. You realize that once upon a time you were having the same issues & magically out of nowhere, the tolerance arrived like fairy dust.

4. Accept It – Although it doesn’t define you, it is a new part of your life & only a small part of who you are. You are like a pie chart & it’s up to you to divide that pie & assign the values. Is this going to take up 1% of your existence or 99%? There’s no correct value & it will fluctuate from time to time depending on what’s going on in your life. But no matter how much value you assign to your new acceptance, avoid the things that feel dangerous or uncomfortable.

So right here, on my little spot on the Internet. I want the world to know that I am an out & proud… I have a cat. Yes, I have a cat. I can say it. I am moving past the embarrassment & shame.

Oh, no! There is a cat in the house!



Nearly a year ago, & with his own harrowing hard luck story, we allowed the homeless RCK to live in our basement rather than under bridges & in parks. He brought with him, his ancient cat. RCK Then did something very bad & he is now in prison, leaving his few belongings & his feline in our basement.

Henry is a sagacious, very old cat with a sweet disposition. With RCK gone, I explained to The Husband that Henry could live us. I was not about to have him put down, & finding a home for a 16 year old cat on Craigslist appeared futile. So, Henry stays. But, I was firm that he would live in the basement. We could bring him upstairs on occasion & even outside if we were sitting in the back garden. I felt that Henry would be content & glad not to be on the streets. We have a nice, clean, dry basement & Henry made a cozy spot for himself on a shelf of stored linen.

Lulu was indifferent to Henry, but Junior was not happy one little bit. He hated the cat & for hours, he would stare through our glass door to the basement landing with the cat on the other side.

Leaving the basement door ajar, Henry started sneaking upstairs. Over time he insinuated himself into the traffic & rhythms of the main floor & was soon napping on the backs of the daybeds. There were hisses & growls, Henry had his tail nipped & Junior had his face slapped. Lulu rose above the fray.

Now, we are a family of 5. I was able to say to strangers: “I have a husband, 2 terriers & a very lucky old cat… that’s right, I am out & proud & I have a cat.

9 comments:

  1. And may the blessing of the Great PURRRRR be with you the rest of your days. :)

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  2. wonderful,wonderful post! I needed that this morning!

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  3. A very compelling post this morning. Thank-you for your honesty...

    & I love Henry, the very lucky old pussy-cat. The Mister & I have 6 of our own...from various walks of life...they are all lucky too ;-)

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  4. This was so very funny - and then, at the end, so sweet you made me cry. Bless you two for taking Henry on and giving him such a very good home to spend his days. xo

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  5. There are worse things than being loving and compassionate. I'm not a cat person at all but if presented with a similar situation and Truvy and Tramp allowed it (they never would) then I'd do the same thing.

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  6. Welcome Out!
    I'll be winging you a copy of the Cat Lady Agenda from Pussy HQ....which, apparently, is my house!

    PS Henry is adorable. And he's insinuated himself into a wonderful new home and life.

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  7. That is one lucky cat. I think it's very good of you and Lulu.

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  8. An excellent deception! I have to stop looking at other people's pet photos, or I'll end up with pets I can't take care of....

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  9. As I was once told: I will still love you, but I don't know if I can ever understand. (Except that that's not true in this case... I DO understand; and it wasn't true in the other case, so did she!)

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