Tuesday, January 24, 2012

& For My Next Number... Cole Porter's Don't Fence Me In


I did a post on rising this morning. I wanted to be casual about the anniversary of this little place on the Internet. I worked a 12 hour day & I took a moment to look at the blog on my new Iphone (I can't leave it alone! I have apps!) & I was horrified to see that Blogger had juxtapositioned fonts & the post didn't feel right visually. I am blocked from blogging, porn & Facebook at my place of employment (I know, what sort of job is that?) & I continued to think about the future of my espousing opinions & relating tales on this blog all day.

I started Post Apocalyptic Bohemia as a challenge to myself. I wanted to tell my story & having given up performing, I was craving a bit of attention. I fumbled at the beginning. Promising a post each day was daunting. Looking at the posts from the first year embarrasses me now, but I am standing by them. Like so many events in my life, I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.

I wanted to tell my story, because, when I would recounted pieces of my life to others, I was reminded that my life has been awesome & amusing, titillating & touching, sad & silly, but never normal.

I am a pre-Stonewall gay man. I am so old that I remember that the few hopeful points of being a homo were that you wouldn’t have to get married & have children, & you wouldn’t have to serve in the military. I never dreamed in my lifetime that gays would fight a winning battle to be able to be a member of the armed forces & to marry, settle down & have a family.

For me, coming out in my early teens, I saw being gay as a gift. If I had been born straight, I would have been The Man. I would have been an Anglo, heterosexual male, & I was more predispositioned to being an outsider & I thank God for making me distinctive, dissident & deviant.

I wished to acquaint readers with the lives of the famous homos. I desired for readers to like me, & discover me as pretty, witty & gay.

This is the life I dream: I awake early each day & after a power, protein shake, I work out with my personal trainer- Bruno, who works me hard & keeps me at single digit body fat.

I have coffee & spend the morning recounting the lives of famous gay people born on that day, give my opinion on culture & read other people’s blogs.

I enjoy a light lunch of salad & champagne before heading out for rehearsals for Steve! - my saucy, sassy show on HBO. I introduce myself to this week’s guests: Anderson Cooper, Angela Lansbury, Michele Obama, Daniel Craig & Sandra Bernhard.

Anderson & I are going to be singing- Together, Wherever We Go from Gypsy, after our zany sketch where my face is Cooper’s Bicycle seat. Ms Lansbury & I have a spot where we look back on our times working together before breaking into Bosom Buddies from Mame. The First Lady & I do a gardening segment. With Mr. Craig, there is a demonstration of how to mix the perfect Martini & Manhattan, after which we depict Greek lovemaking positions in silhouette behind a scrim. Sandra & I dish delightfully & do a cover of Barracuda by Heart. The entire show wraps up with all my guests in a rousing medley of favorite early rap numbers: Rapture, Woody Rappinghood, & Rapper’s Delight.

This is the reality: rise early, make coffee, & attempt to impart something fresh, facetious & fascinating on Post Apocalyptic Bohemian. I take the terriers for their walk while continuing to write in my head. Then off to the job I must perform to have an income. I will attempt to do this better than anyone else... or at least with more invention & intelligence. Then I will come back, at the end of the day, to my uncommon home, 2 tenacious terriers & one shining, skilled, smart spouse. Not at all, a bad gig.

I am thankful for what I have,  most certainly including the readers of my little spot on the Internet. You are loved. Really. Thank you for 3 years. As The Husband once knowingly said: "you never said more than 2 words for 25 years... & now you won't shut up."

12 comments:

  1. Happy three years! Yours is one of my favorite spots on the web. Since I read early in the day with my morning beverage, I sometimes feel like I've tuned in to "Girl Talk" with Virginia Graham. I learn so much.

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  2. I for one am glad you held your tongue until I met you.
    I just closed Edmund White's new book, set in the day before we wanted to be married, go to war, and have toddlers, btw brilliantly said!
    So I do hope you do publish your book.
    In the meantime, I have a little cine-club here in France, (okay 2 film lovers and ME)....and we plan on a Rutledge festival this weekend to celebrate.
    Your biggest fan
    tim

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  3. Yay for Three Years! Happy birthday. But, Bruno...really? Bruno??

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  4. Please, PLEASE, never shut up! You are indeed one of a kind, and finding your uniqueness on the web a couple of years ago was one of my happiest blogging discoveries ever.

    HAPPY 3RD, Post Apocalyptic Bohemian!

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  5. Happy 3rd Blogoversary, Stephen! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

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  6. I think your blog and/or stories are absolutely fascinating ! The first thing I do when I get to work is check to see what "Born on this Day" essay you have written. I can read blogs here at the office but I too am blocked from Facebook, porn and all the good stuff. So I bought an IPad. They will never keep me down and it's sound like they will never keep you down either. Congrats on 3 years and I look forward to the next ....

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  7. I've asked the Magic 8-Ball dozens of times 'Why can't I write like this?', and the answer always alternates between 'Ask again later' and 'Better not tell you now'. One visit to PAB means addiction. Happy Anniversary!

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  8. I am so glad you decided to write this blog and I am even more glad we found each other! You are entertaining, interesting, and and an inspiration!

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  9. It really is the reader who should be celebrating, for we are the lucky ones. Many thanks from a big big fan.

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  10. I don't have to let you how much I enjoy your blog every single day. Happy Blogaversary!

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  11. Stephen, Happy 3rd Anniversary!! I read PAB everyday, even though I'm not male or gay! A good writer is a good writer, no matter what their gender or orientation.

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  12. you are a bookmark on my computers both at home and at work and when I need a dose of STEVE (which is often) I feel as if I can get to you quick!!! Love trying to keep up with you!

    keep it coming stud!

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