Tuesday, January 24, 2012

& For My Next Number... Cole Porter's Don't Fence Me In

I did a post on rising this morning. I wanted to be casual about the anniversary of this little place on the Internet. I worked a 12 hour day & I took a moment to look at the blog on my new Iphone (I can't leave it alone! I have apps!) & I was horrified to see that Blogger had juxtapositioned fonts & the post didn't feel right visually. I am blocked from blogging, porn & Facebook at my place of employment (I know, what sort of job is that?) & I continued to think about the future of my espousing opinions & relating tales on this blog all day.

I started Post Apocalyptic Bohemia as a challenge to myself. I wanted to tell my story & having given up performing, I was craving a bit of attention. I fumbled at the beginning. Promising a post each day was daunting. Looking at the posts from the first year embarrasses me now, but I am standing by them. Like so many events in my life, I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.

I wanted to tell my story, because, when I would recounted pieces of my life to others, I was reminded that my life has been awesome & amusing, titillating & touching, sad & silly, but never normal.

I am a pre-Stonewall gay man. I am so old that I remember that the few hopeful points of being a homo were that you wouldn’t have to get married & have children, & you wouldn’t have to serve in the military. I never dreamed in my lifetime that gays would fight a winning battle to be able to be a member of the armed forces & to marry, settle down & have a family.

For me, coming out in my early teens, I saw being gay as a gift. If I had been born straight, I would have been The Man. I would have been an Anglo, heterosexual male, & I was more predispositioned to being an outsider & I thank God for making me distinctive, dissident & deviant.

I wished to acquaint readers with the lives of the famous homos. I desired for readers to like me, & discover me as pretty, witty & gay.

This is the life I dream: I awake early each day & after a power, protein shake, I work out with my personal trainer- Bruno, who works me hard & keeps me at single digit body fat.

I have coffee & spend the morning recounting the lives of famous gay people born on that day, give my opinion on culture & read other people’s blogs.

I enjoy a light lunch of salad & champagne before heading out for rehearsals for Steve! - my saucy, sassy show on HBO. I introduce myself to this week’s guests: Anderson Cooper, Angela Lansbury, Michele Obama, Daniel Craig & Sandra Bernhard.

Anderson & I are going to be singing- Together, Wherever We Go from Gypsy, after our zany sketch where my face is Cooper’s Bicycle seat. Ms Lansbury & I have a spot where we look back on our times working together before breaking into Bosom Buddies from Mame. The First Lady & I do a gardening segment. With Mr. Craig, there is a demonstration of how to mix the perfect Martini & Manhattan, after which we depict Greek lovemaking positions in silhouette behind a scrim. Sandra & I dish delightfully & do a cover of Barracuda by Heart. The entire show wraps up with all my guests in a rousing medley of favorite early rap numbers: Rapture, Woody Rappinghood, & Rapper’s Delight.

This is the reality: rise early, make coffee, & attempt to impart something fresh, facetious & fascinating on Post Apocalyptic Bohemian. I take the terriers for their walk while continuing to write in my head. Then off to the job I must perform to have an income. I will attempt to do this better than anyone else... or at least with more invention & intelligence. Then I will come back, at the end of the day, to my uncommon home, 2 tenacious terriers & one shining, skilled, smart spouse. Not at all, a bad gig.

I am thankful for what I have,  most certainly including the readers of my little spot on the Internet. You are loved. Really. Thank you for 3 years. As The Husband once knowingly said: "you never said more than 2 words for 25 years... & now you won't shut up."


  1. Happy three years! Yours is one of my favorite spots on the web. Since I read early in the day with my morning beverage, I sometimes feel like I've tuned in to "Girl Talk" with Virginia Graham. I learn so much.

  2. I for one am glad you held your tongue until I met you.
    I just closed Edmund White's new book, set in the day before we wanted to be married, go to war, and have toddlers, btw brilliantly said!
    So I do hope you do publish your book.
    In the meantime, I have a little cine-club here in France, (okay 2 film lovers and ME)....and we plan on a Rutledge festival this weekend to celebrate.
    Your biggest fan

  3. Yay for Three Years! Happy birthday. But, Bruno...really? Bruno??

  4. Please, PLEASE, never shut up! You are indeed one of a kind, and finding your uniqueness on the web a couple of years ago was one of my happiest blogging discoveries ever.

    HAPPY 3RD, Post Apocalyptic Bohemian!

  5. Happy 3rd Blogoversary, Stephen! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  6. I think your blog and/or stories are absolutely fascinating ! The first thing I do when I get to work is check to see what "Born on this Day" essay you have written. I can read blogs here at the office but I too am blocked from Facebook, porn and all the good stuff. So I bought an IPad. They will never keep me down and it's sound like they will never keep you down either. Congrats on 3 years and I look forward to the next ....

  7. I've asked the Magic 8-Ball dozens of times 'Why can't I write like this?', and the answer always alternates between 'Ask again later' and 'Better not tell you now'. One visit to PAB means addiction. Happy Anniversary!

  8. I am so glad you decided to write this blog and I am even more glad we found each other! You are entertaining, interesting, and and an inspiration!

  9. It really is the reader who should be celebrating, for we are the lucky ones. Many thanks from a big big fan.

  10. I don't have to let you how much I enjoy your blog every single day. Happy Blogaversary!

  11. Stephen, Happy 3rd Anniversary!! I read PAB everyday, even though I'm not male or gay! A good writer is a good writer, no matter what their gender or orientation.

  12. you are a bookmark on my computers both at home and at work and when I need a dose of STEVE (which is often) I feel as if I can get to you quick!!! Love trying to keep up with you!

    keep it coming stud!


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