It seems that the story of my childhood is not that common. I didn’t have a dysfunctional family; I grew up with loving & supportive parents that gave me every advantage. They both were working professionals & we were lucky enough to have a really nice house, a lake cabin, & cars. We took vacations & visited my grandparents, who were equally as loving. My parents paid for music lessons, dance class & art lessons &, laid out money for 4 years of private university education. They came to see all my plays & concerts. My parents gave me all the tools to become a model gay man in the new millenium. I have continue to enjoy their good humor & their company.
Last Sunday, my parents forwarded an email with the heading- “Warning!”. The text stated that it was important that everyone watch a Fox News special that would reveal the truth about our President being a Marxist. I should have just deleted it., but I was so outraged & weary of people claiming that Mr. Obama is a Marxist, socialist, Nazi, & foreign born that I fired off a reply that stated “if any of you think that our President is a Marxist, you are truly nutty & probably racist, & if you let Sean Hannity & Fox News make your political decisions for you, then you are not just nutty, you are stupid & lazy… do any of you actually know what Marxism is?.” This set off a series of responses to me from the people in the email group saying mean & hateful things about me & my views. One person said that my response was “typical of someone that acts like a cornered animal”. I would respond with comments such as –“I don’t know why my smart & loving parents would know or associate with people like you”. My parents later emailed & stated that they were hurt & dismayed by the emails & that my father thinks I have called him stupid, my mother has been crying & that I am “tearing apart the fabric of our family”. Now I feel terrible for hurting my parents, but if I am forwarded an email like this, am I not allowed to respond? I apologized to my parents, who have not acknowledged the apology. They are apparently not speaking to me. Now in my deep middle-age, I finally have a dysfunctional family.
Your parents and mine would get along very well. I have told my mom that she embarrasses me, that I used to think she was an intelligent and fair minded person but her being a birther, faux news watcher/believer and more have changed that. I told her that only fearful weak minded people can believe Beck, Hannity and rest. We have agreed not to talk about any of it anymore. However, she now dislikes O'Reilly.
ReplyDeleteI think there is something in the air that requires those we love to eventually become automatons for FOX. The first person I ever came out to was my Aunt Renee. At the time I was 17 and she was married to a female to male transexual. She, up until recently, is the most liberal, artistic person I know. But sometime in the early 2000s she married a guy named Bill, and now she is probably the most conservative, FOX News-watching person I know.
ReplyDeleteTry not to let it get to you...I'm sorry but there is nothing you can do. At most, if you get emails forwarded to you like that, simply ask that you be taken off that mailing list. I have several relatives that we've simply agreed not to talk about politics or religion, neither of which SHOULD be talked about in mixed/polite company.
However, I am surprised by your parents: they know you. How could they support FOX?
And true, most people don't know the exact definition of Marxism but Commie Red has always be the color of choice whenever some organization wants to make people scared of things like healthcare, gay rights, etc.
Welcome to the dark side. But always remember the force.
ReplyDeleteIt does seem odd that your parents, who know you quite well, would be dismayed at your reaction to anything said by FauxNews.
ReplyDeleteHopefully they get over it and come to understand that they can love you and disagree with you.
But seriously? Marxism?
Oh what I might have done had I been sent that email!
You deserve a hug.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt's partner sent out a mass email asking for support for Clinton during the Monica Scandal. My Dad, hit 'reply all' and had a fit about it. Politics drove a wedge between this aunt and my Dad. Interestingly Dad left the GOP (he had been a delegate for Nixon) over social issues, including how my aunt and her partner have been treated by the GOP. But that didn't extend to Bill Clinton and his fall from grace.
I hope you can work it out. Next week my Democrat nephew-in-law and my Sarah Palin supporting BIL will be here. I might be under the table.
They are mad at you? They sent you that garbage first, and they are mad at you??!! Good grief!
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced that as people grow older and their bodies grow weaker, their minds also grow weaker. They are rather easily convinced that obvious lies are truths. Please don't fault them for this. Once things are patched up between you, try counseling them to watch news programs and avoid the propaganda. They will be happier.
After my Mother told me that she thought the Rapture was actually a possibility...religion and politics were off the table. I'm sorry this has happened to you and your family. You have a long happy history together. I'm sure this will blow over soon.
ReplyDeleteTwo Christmases ago, my father and stepmother picked me up from the airport on Dec. 23rd, and we drove directly to a nice restaurant for dinner. During the meal, we began to discuss Bush, the war, gay marriage, the works. Being surrounded by conservative Republicans and their hateful views, I did exactly what you did - - I exploded. Only I did it in person, during dinner.
ReplyDeleteMy father turned to me and asked me why I was so angry, and said that my anger only proved how wrong that I was.
For the rest of the holiday, I could barely speak to my father. It was miserable for both of us, and nothing he could say could get me out of the funk I was in. I left sometime after Christmas and hours after I arrived back in Chicago, Dad called and said that he felt horrible about the holiday. He promised me that we would never discuss politics again, because our relationship was too precious for us to waste time not speaking to each other as we had the previous week.
We've talked politics a little here and there since, but it's always difficult. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts. You'll come through this, you all will.
Much love.
Even from afar, we know the reputation of Fox News. While parents should be respected, I am pleased to hear you called them to account.
ReplyDeleteYou should ONLY apologize that your parents were hurt by your response. NEVER apologize for voicing your (correct) opinion!
ReplyDeleteHope it all turns out well.
Am I the only one here with ex hippies as parents? They are completely delusional on some things, but their hearts (and consequently their politics) have always been in the right place. It may be their fault that I have been accused of being a Socialist a few times..
ReplyDeleteI find laying out some of the issues (tax, medical, inheritance, etc) with a personal reference sometimes helps. It is amazing how some good people have never thought or realized about these things...
Better late than never I say...I know how you feel buddy...
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say to this. I feel so strongly about my views, which are the same as yours as far as I can tell. I have no living parents, but I am sure I would have reacted as you did. There is a moral obligation to our fellow human beings that transcends all other considerations, and yet, family is important. Instinct tells me that you should stand firm.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking along. Maybe send them your post about your wonderful childhood and how you feel. That might help.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that will refute this kind of stuff, but not sting, is to look this stuff up on snopes.com - I have done that a couple of times for my parents.
what can I add? I know over the years I hurt my parents with my outspoken views. I suspect every child does.
ReplyDeletehopefully love will prevail.
Stephen, I commend you for speaking the truth, initially by responding to your parent email. Certainly you are correct..if we are to be included in such email chains...then we should be allowed the same opportunity to respond. People of the "Right" are typically "followers" who like to be spoon fed their politics and religion. I can only encourage you to continue to speak your truth and be patient with your parents. They will eventually come around again...and you will be able to discuss things more calmly and openly with them in the future. Be at peace my friend.
ReplyDeleteCraig V.
Sorry for your troubles. Presumably they know you and have some idea of your views and shouldn’t have sent the e-mail. It is unfortunate how family can be so insensitive sometimes. DNA in common isn’t a free pass for boorish behavior.
ReplyDeleteI am going to differ from the other commenters and propose a different approach. I don’t believe in unqualified filial loyalty, but I do give older parents some space - middle age has allowed me to see their shortcomings - and am not directly confrontational on things that don’t affect their immediate health and welfare. I’d have approached it a bit differently in a reply e-mail:
“HaHaHa. Thanks for the internet humor. It’s so good to have a laugh during the day when things are so busy and stressful. I don’t know what we ever did before this interweb thing took off. There are such creative people who can spin a fairly tale. And, where do they find the time! If it weren’t for stuff like this, Nigerian financial proposals, and potions to enlarge my body-parts, I’d never get any e-mail.
Eskimo kisses XoXoXo”
If someone on the reply list bites and comes back with any serious response, it gives you the entre to further reply and copy the entire list:
“I am so sorry. It never occurred to me that I was intended to take that seriously.
S.”
Then end the exchange. You have better things to do with your time.
If future e-mails arrive, use a briefer variation and then ultimately ignore them.
Or, you can always tell them you've applied to be on the new government health care death panel and are looking forward to working with another member of the panel, Sarah Palin.
Great...even more damage done to the family by Fox news.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what a few others said--if someone sends you such an email, they are making an assumption that everyone who sees it will agree. Regardless of whether it's your father or your worst enemy, they apparently aren't bright enough to think you might be offended or disagree. At worst, they don't respect you and aren't even aware of your opinions. I always delete this crap--no matter who it comes from. If they want to debate an issue seriously, then we can talk in person. These emails are like digital drive-bys, where no one wants to take responsibility. I think you were right to reply, and you should never apologize for having an opinion. Hopefully, it will cause others to reconsider sending such emails to you in the future.
ReplyDelete